Quantum Happiness Series- Avoid the always trap
Since this is a learned behavior, it must be
practiced with patience and persistence. But when it becomes ingrained, it is a
valuable tool to prune the twining vine of ennui from our lives.
It’s easy to fall into the thought pattern of,
“It’s always
_________________. It’s always been that way and will always be that way.”
For example, I’m 5’3”, and it seems like
things are always ½ an inch out of
reach, not enough to justify a stepstool, just enough for me to keep knocking
them further away each time I grab.
The half-inch habit
The truth is, things aren’t always ½ inch out of reach, but I have a habit of
noticing when they are. To combat that unwanted weed, I have learned to take a
moment to sew a seed of recognition and gratitude when things are within easy
reach.
Future RX
When I tell myself, “It’s always,” I’m prescribing my future based on frustrations of the past, and that prescription becomes my reality. It’s a classic case of which came first the chicken or the egg, or in our case the flower or the seed?
But if I pay attention and recognize moments when things go well:
- When items are within reach.
- When returns are easy.
- When both children go to sleep at the same time.
I change the prescription for my future to
success instead of frustration.
The moments will be different for everyone,
but the process is the same. Pay more attention to things that go well than to
things that do not. In other words, water flowers not weeds.
How to Avoid the Always Trap
Engagement exercise 1:
Identify and define three “always traps,” in your life.
1. ____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
2.
____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
3.
____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Engagement Exercise
2:
What can you learn to appreciate that will
help you avoid that trap?
(For instance, if you “always” catch red
lights red, take a moment of appreciation whenever you pass through a green
light.)
1.
____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
2.
____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
3.
____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Sources and resources:
Video: Howdini- How to Turn Negative Thinking into
Positive
Video: Alison Ledgerwood-
Getting Stuck
in the Negatives (and how to get unstuck)
Book: The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale
Book: Rapt: Attention and the Focused Life by
Winifred Gallagher
Website: HighPerformanceLifestyle.net- 5 Ways to Have a Positive Attitude
Website: SuccessConsciousness.com-
How to Focus on the Positive
Website: SkillShare.com- How to Change Thinking from Negative to Positive
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