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THE ENNUI EPIDEMIC
Click here to watch "The Ennui Effect" video.
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Are you tired and frustrated?
Do you need more time and energy?
Are you busy yet bored?
If you answered yes to any or all of the questions above, you are not alone. More than 70 percent of Americans report feeling the very same way.
The ennui effect
Ennui – (French: ahn-wee) a
mood of deep weariness and discontent – is caused by overindulgence, not in
food or alcohol but overindulgence in all the good things life has to offer:
our work, our family, our home, our pets, our cars, our toys, etc. In other
words, our discontent is a side-effect of having it all.
We are living the dream and it is crushing us, sapping our time and energy, leaving us drained and dispirited. We are so busy maintaining our lifestyle, that we do not have time and energy to enjoy our life. In fact, most Americans report physical and psychological symptoms related to ennui:
(Source: American Psychological Association / American Institute of Stress)
· Low energy/ fatigue
· Anxiety/ stress
· Insomnia
· Decreased motivation
· Lack of passion and purpose
Historically ennui was akin to boredom and angst, but modern-day ennui has evolved into an increasingly pervasive, destructive force.
Tail on fire
Modern ennui is characterized by what I refer to as the “tail-on-fire” syndrome. When in the grip of this syndrome, we run around day after day with our tail on fire trying desperately to put it out while struggling to enjoy all that we have. Many of us believe that in today’s world we do not have to choose what we want. We can have it all. But that belief is inherently flawed and simply not true. By trying to have it all, we are actually giving it all away. Our time, our energy and our passion are valuable, limited resources and easily depleted.
At the root
A multitude of bad habits spring from the roots of ennui.
Struggling to break free of its grasp, we long for excitement and adventure. Self-destructive habits such as procrastination, road rage, even drug and alcohol abuse are examples of this misplaced anger and frustration that so many American adults experience.
We know that putting things off until the last moment, arguing with others and waking up hungover and full of regret are toxic for both us and those we love. But such actions deliver a surge of energy and adrenaline that gets our heart rate and blood pressure rising while feeding our need for excitement in much the same way fast food feeds our hunger.
We often participate in these self-destructive, stress-inducing behaviors in our misguided search for adventure because anxiety, anger, fear and excitement all produce the same adrenal response in the body and are accompanied by the same physiological changes:
· Shallow breathing,
· rapid heartbeat,
· heightened awareness,
a.k.a pure energy.
This powerful energy, produced in a response known as fight or flight, is the body’s way of preparing us to either defend ourselves or flee in the face of danger. However, these dramatic moments of our own making do not usually allow us to engage in battle or flee the scene. So, we end up frustrated and exhausted, like a caged bird beating its wings but accomplishing nothing. It is energy turned toxic.
How to beat ennui
There are things that we can do to beat ennui, and the first one is to find our inspiration and either uncover or discover our goals. I say uncover because sometimes our goals have been sitting there covered in dust for years. So, we must get them out, brush them off and make them a priority in our lives. From there we have to communicate that intention first to ourselves and then to others because if our goals are not a priority to us, they will certainly not be a priority to others. And then we have to get organized and put solid structures in place to move us closer to our goals every single day.
To learn more about how to beat ennui and conquer the dark side of having it all, visit TammyTalk.com for fresh, free resources.
About Tammy Kearce
As a professor of communication and social science at NWFSC (Northwest Florida State College), she has taught valuable life skills to more than 3,000 students spanning two decades. She has also developed a three-step process designed to help working women cultivate health and happiness. And last year, she produced and published the Everyday Vacay Seminar Series.
Email: editor@tammytalk.com
Website: tammytalk.com (photo available on website)
Phone: (850) 419-9167 call or text
YouTube: Tammy Talk
The digital clockface screamed 3:00 a.m. for the third night in a row.
Although I was exhausted, sleep eluded me night after night. My business was struggling,
my savings were dwindling, and my future was uncertain. I was frightened and
frustrated, but I was not alone. Many of my friends, family, and fellow
Americans were also awake, struggling with similar circumstances.
Prior to the CoVid 19 pandemic, more than 70 percent of Americans
reported physical and psychological symptoms related to stress: headache, muscle
tension, digestive issues, irritability, fatigue, lack of energy and/or loss of enthusiasm,
according to the National Institute of Stress. And in recent months, that
stress level has skyrocketed.
In addition to existing stress, Americans have the added burden of health
concerns for themselves and their families, economic pressures and uncertainty
about the future. While the best way to combat stress is to rest and relax, it
is easier said than done. Anyone faced with an uncertain future can attest to
the fact that rest and relaxation are all but impossible.
However, “Using some simple, targeted techniques, we can quiet that stress and get some rest,” says Tammy Kearce, former communications and social science professor at NWFSC (NorthWest Florida State College), author of the Everyday Vacay Seminar Series and host of Tammy Talk TV.
Technique #1 Prune passive stress
Passive
stress is a silent but destructive form of stress caused by ignoring a problem
in hopes that it will go away, but instead it percolates quietly below the
surface adding to overwhelm and fueling frustration, usually rearing its head late at night and in quiet moments when we
should be resting.
We can combat passive stress with:
· Deliberate detection: Pay attention. Look for passive stressors.
·
Proper planning: Prepare for predictable
stressors in advance.
·
Sensible scheduling: If it happens with
regularity, schedule it.
o Grocery shopping
o
Gassing the car
o Self-care (haircuts, check-ups, exercise, etc.)
"Ignoring it will only make it go underground and be harder to manage," says Kearce. "So the best way to combat passive stress is to pull our head out of the sand, pay attention, plan ahead, and put it on the schedule."
Technique #2: Weed out worry
Crocodile Dundee said it best,
“Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.”
Worry serves no real purpose other than wasting valuable time and energy. Worry feeds indecision and indecision feeds worry, so ditch them both in favor of action. If you are worried about something that you can control, determine the steps that need to be taken and get started. But if it is not something you are capable of correcting, do something physical because action is the antidote to worry. Go for a walk or a run. Find a YouTube workout and work up a sweat. Do something, and if that does not work, do something else.
Even if we are successful at warding off worry during the day, it has a way of surfacing during the dark, quiet of the night. So, cultivate a nightly ritual of making a list before bed of "Todays and To-dos."
- Disturbing things that happened during the day.
- Concerns about anything, no matter how small or trivial,
- Things to do the next day or in the future.
- Things to remember.
- Things to prepare.
- Anything that you might worry about during the night.
Then keep that list nearby. During those dark hours before dawn, we sometimes get reminders from our subconscious about responsibilities and/or commitments that we have forgotten. By keeping our list near the bed, we can easily add to it, releasing that worry until the next day.
Technique #3: Fumigate fear
Fear is a common reaction to stress, but fear is energy in its purest form, adrenaline. Whether we experience that energy as fear or excitement is a matter of translation. For instance, some people are terrified of public speaking while others embrace it. They are all experiencing the same physical and physiological effects but translating them differently.
"The first time I taught a class, I had to make up an excuse, go to the restroom, and throw up," says Kearce, "but I eventually got used to that surge of adrenaline and came to interpret it as anticipation and excitement."
Laziness is also a classic
symptom of fear. Contrary to popular belief, laziness is not an incurable
condition, but instead a passive reaction to fear, which traps its victims on
the couch, paralyzed with indecision and dread.
Instead
of submitting in the face of fear, try this three-step process to regain
control:
·
Identify the source. Take a few minutes and
examine the root of the fear, determine its origin. Very often frustration is a
symptom of fear. For instance, frustration with your boss
may be a symptom of feeling insecure about your job. So, analyze the emotion
and brainstorm possible solutions. Journaling often helps put such things in
perspective.
·
Breathe. When frightened, we tend to hold our
breath without realizing it. And when we try to take a deep breath, we cannot,
which only makes the situation worse. So first, slowly breathe out to a count
of four and then in slowly to a count of four. Repeat as needed.
·
Get
moving. Much like worry, if we are
afraid of something beyond our control, the best treatment is physical
activity, which releases endorphins, gives us a sense of control, and forces us
to rest and relax afterward.
Technique #4: Exterminate anger
Anger
is a more aggressive reaction to fear and stress. When angry we have a choice
to make. Will we use it as energy to motivate us and accomplish the impossible,
or will we internalize it and implode allowing it to become a destructive force
in our lives and others? The choice is ours.
Anger
is physical and brings with it that awesome rush of energy and adrenaline via
our fight or flight response. When we internalize this angry energy, it becomes
toxic and turns us against ourselves, often making us demoralized and
depressed. But if we find a healthy
outlet, it becomes a source of motivation and strength.
Malcolm X says, “When people are sad, they don’t do anything, but when they get angry, they bring about a change.”
Outlets
such as:
· Work in the yard or garden,
· Research and writing,
· Education,
· Seeking an elected office,
· Joining or starting a group or movement related to the cause,
provide
a safe and productive channel for anger instead of allowing it to ferment and
fertilize the roots of frustration.
So,
the next time your heart is racing, and your blood is boiling, lace up those
running shoes and pound some pavement, grab a pen and write a letter to the
editor, or find a trowel and weed the garden.
Patience and perseverance
While
stress is unavoidable, it does not have to control our lives, dictate our emotions,
or rob us of rest. By recognizing its symptoms and triggers, we can act instead
of react and turn it into a source of energy and motivation to accomplish our
goals, nourish our bodies, and relax at the end of the day.
About Tammy Kearce:
Tammy Kearce has been working as a writer, teacher, and public speaker for more than two decades. During that time she has developed a three-step process designed to help working women cultivate health and happiness.
Last
year, Kearce launched TammyTalk.com and Tammy Talk TV in order to reach a wider audience and make her message more
accessible to working women everywhere.
In 2020, Kearce produced and published a
three-part e-seminar series,
"Everyday Vacay: How to Beat Ennui and Conquer the Dark Side of
Having it All."
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